Zaxon

Zaxon has allowed me to photograph him on three occasions. Unfortunately, he has insisted that the light be out or the camera lense-cap be on. This has created a challenge. As a result, I have painted this image. If you have ever seen Zaxon for yourself, you will agree that this is a good likeness. If you have any actual photographs of Zaxon, you must notify me now!

Lately, Zaxon has been known to travel with an assistant. Little is known about Zaxon's helper except that he bears the serial number DLCM^r and is often referred to as "Dulcimer". Nobody has been able to capture a photo of the little guy but a police sketch-artist has done a reasonable job of rendering his likeness. If you have any further information on Dulcie, you must notify me now!

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His Village

Zaxon recently visited my home and stayed for three nights. I repeatedly asked for a photo of his home village. He never produced  the photograph. However, after he was gone I discovered this image burned onto my bathroom  wall. If any of these structures are familiar to you, you must notify me now!

His Diet

During his stay at my home, Zaxon refused to eat meat. Every day his meals consisted of Kix cereal in a saucer. He told me this meal was a common ritual at this time of year. The small Kix cereal balls closely resembled his native food, known as "Planets in Small Saucer". He also seemed to be feeding scraps of the meal to a small animal which he kept in his pocket. He refused to tell me what type of animal it was or if it had a name.

His Weapon

Zaxon showed me his weapon, which resembles a gun. He said it was not a gun because guns are not allowed. It is actually a Hiober (pronounced Joe-Bhur). This Hiober does not shoot bullets like the older models. It is much more peaceful in that it only puts people to sleep. In fact, it's very peaceful because they will never wake up again. Apparently, the old Hiobers with bullets made quite a mess, so this is less work in the end. Again, I was not allowed to photograph it. If you have pictures of an actual Hiober, you must notify me now!

His Story

Zaxon was born in 1450 AD somewhere near Constantinople. In 1452, in an attempt to escape persecution by the Turks, his family fled through the Northeast Portal into the unknown dimension. On the other side, young Zaxon discovered he was the only member of his family to survive the journey. Fortunately, Zaxon was found by a group of natives, who raised him as their own. When Zaxon turned 16, and for reasons I cannot go into here, he was proclaimed leader of the land. The dimension was renamed Planet Zaxon. He has ruled ever since. Zaxon is probably the most popular leader they have known, with the exception of Chlonius IV who exists now only in legend and the occasional cave painting. Despite his enormous popularity in the polls, Zaxon has had several attempts on his life. It is believed these attempted coups are primarily the work of the Rogness Clan or the Liths, also known as the Stone People.